A link to his blog can be found at http://johnnyism.wordpress.com/2009/01/21/my-thoughts-on-this-historical-day/ so that you may try and take the logical steps as to how this short story is my ‘logical’ conclusion and response to his blog.

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You know, I heard that the whole time Ms. Franklin had an earpiece in connected to her hidden iPod. The song that was playing was the BeeGees – “Stayin’ Alive”

Now that that’s set up, see if you can make the connection to this blonde joke.

A young blonde bombshell walks around NC State campus (you can use any college if you’re offended by NCS) strutting her stuff, swingin her hips and obviously listening to her iPod as you can see the darn thing right through her skin-tight vinyl pants. Every day a young man, who thinks Ms. Thang is the hottest thing he’s ever seen, sits on the corner where she walks by every single day on her way to the candy shop on campus. One Friday evening, Ms. Blonde and Booty falls down on the sidewalk right in front of the curious young Mr. Creepy Pants. Much to his dismay, Ms. Ginormous Chesticles was dead! “Woe is me!” he thought for a second. “I knew absolutely nothing about her!!!! Cursed is this day!” and shaking his fist in the air, he kissed her on the left pinky finger, because he was an awkward boy. Suddenly, he had a thought. He snatched the iPod from her back pocket, clinging to a hope that he may learn something about her life through the music she listened to. Again, Mr. Unlucky Angler was at a loss. The iPod was simply dead, batteries uncharged. “Why would she walk around with a dead iPod and a headphone in her ears?” he thought to himself. He went back to his room in the sports dorm he askes his cannabis smoking roomie, Mr. Loserface, if he had an extra iPod charger as Mr. Broke Ass was a loser that couldn’t keep up with the times. Even 6 month old babies have iPods nowadays… Of course Mr. Smoked Himself Stupid (yeah, he got a middle name for the heck of it, you can call him SHS if you like) had one! He reached into his sticky-icky jar and pulled out his “Go Green” iPod charger, handing it to his emotionally distressed buddy. “Hope this works! Haven’t used it in 14 minutes /wink.” (yeah…he winked…pretty creepy, but he’s high AND ate Subway) After charging the iPod, the downtrod boy-man powered on Ms. Sleeping Deadly’s iPod and was shocked that there was only 1 track on the whole thing. “This is it he thought to himself.” as he slowly opened the song labelled, “Track 01.” As the boy slowly lifted the headphones to his ears, all he heard was nothingness. “This can’t be right!” he exclaimed. The strung out Mr. Stinkybreath grabbed the iPod from his non-geek bud (that’s a pun) and turned the volume up. At first he didn’t understand… “This is no song…its a chant of some sort…” He thought that the person chanting sounded a bit like what he would think the gorgeous socialite’s mother would sound like. “MILF voice!” he thought. Then he realized how on cue his assumptions were! For the chant was a mere four-word phrase “Breathe in, breath out.”

The moral of this story, if you haven’t already guessed, is that iPods are evil. They’re devious f*cks and they control the industry and population with devil music. Don’t buy iPods.